What the distracted boyfriend doesn’t know about making offers.

By Stephen Pratley, November 2, 2018

Last year, this image above did the rounds of the internet as a meme about not following good advice.   The guy represents two things that you’re doing to your prospect with your marketing.   He’s not only ignoring them, and being self obsessed. He’s going a step further and making comparisons with a “better […]

Last year, this image above did the rounds of the internet as a meme about not following good advice.
 
The guy represents two things that you're doing to your prospect with your marketing.
 
He's not only ignoring them, and being self obsessed. He's going a step further and making comparisons with a “better model”.
 
The neglected girlfriend has a stack of bad feelings about the whole situation.
– she's upset that he's ignoring her
– outrage at his attentions towards the “new prospect”
– worst of all, triggered feelings of low self-worth by comparing herself to the girl in the red dress.
 
And you might well be doing that too, by promising too much with your offer.
 
This is pretty blunt, but we all sit somewhere on a scale of looks, health, wealth, status and other measures. We compare ourselves to the people above and below us at every moment.
 
Millenia of tribal living have taught us the benefit of moving up a step or two. It's also taught us absolute fear of those at the top, and the very bottom of the scales.
 
Being aware of those boundaries is crucial when you decide who to pitch an offer at. How far you can move them from their current position is a vital choice.
 
If your prospect is a solid 5, but you can make them feel like a 6, they’ll love you for it. Make them feel like a 7 and you won’t be able to get rid of them, even if you wanted to.
But push further than that, make promised about turning them into an 8,9, or 10 and they’ll start to back off.
 
If someone loves McDonalds, you can sell them on Gourmet Burger as a treat. Try to sell them a Kobe Beef burger in a white linen restaurant and they'll freak out, in a bad way.
If someone drinks coffee from the office jug all day, sell them a Starbucks as a treat. Start talking about light roast single estate beans, or a Chemex? They'll think your day job is cooking meth with Walter White.
 
You see only a very few people are comfortable making leaps like that in a single step. A lifetime of conditioning keeps them in their own social circle with people of similar status, of similar levels of self-esteem.
Point them to the crowd at the top of the pyramid and they’ll find reasons to not be like them.
“They’re obsessed with money / image / power.”
As if the rest of us aren’t, at least compared to the 2s 3s and 4s. Listen to the language that the working classes use to describe the middle classes. It's the same as the middle classes use to describe the 1%.
 
The words the obese use to describe regular gum goers is how regular gym goers describe top-flight athletes and physique models.
 
“They're obsessed. It's not natural. Why can't they be “normal”, “healthy”.
 
I.E. “Why can't they be more like ME, and stop holding a mirror up to my own shortcomings?”
There's times for tough love in a relationship. There's times to say “it's time to take this a step further”. Those times come in after you've built trust and shown you can make them feel good at least once. Until then they'll be afraid you're going to make them feel like shit.
 
So for now, don't ask them to compare themselves to the 10's.
 
What are you doing to get your 5's feeling like 6s & 7's?

Stephen Pratley
Head of Conversion Consulting
The Conversion Academy

A 20-year veteran of turning digital traffic into sales, Stephen has built email lists of millions and created revenues in the hundreds of millions for clients across education, ecommerce and B2B industries. He now works exclusively with online training businesses to scale their online sales through paid ad campaigns and high-converting funnels & follow-up.

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